I have been interacting with a person far more experienced in age and life. Owing to the person I am, I have this tendency to become very familiar from the first instant itself. And this could lead to treading into forbidden places, I had never known this before.
So, as I was working and interacting with this being, I had a few suggestions or comments in my mind that I very plainly and informally presented. The response was shocking and I have to say it shook the base of the life I am living. I came to realize through the person's response that my suggestions had treaded into a very personal space. And all the more that my intentions were highly prejudiced with me having a secret reformist agenda in my mind, coming from my prejudices and notions.
Now as I usually do.. I introspected. It took me 3-4 days and nights to find out that I did actually have this secret reformist agenda in mind or not??
Finally, as I geared up my clarified self again, I told to myself that YES, it was indeed somewhere hidden in my subconscious and that rather unpleasant experience, in disguise, helped to un-earth the motive and thereby cleansed my actions for now and future.
The lesson I learned is : every reaction, response I get from life, says something about my own self. Its in my hands to blame it onto others and escape the situation thereby preserving the Ego. And its in my hands too, to rather expand my consciousness and understand my limitations, which by understanding, just melt away.
As Swami Sukhbodhananda says : The result you get from your actions is not what you on a gross level wished.. Rather what was being thought, or feared of on the subtlest level of your consciousness..
I felt thankful to the person who by giving this shock had awaken me up from a dream, when I never knew I had been sleeping...
So, as I was working and interacting with this being, I had a few suggestions or comments in my mind that I very plainly and informally presented. The response was shocking and I have to say it shook the base of the life I am living. I came to realize through the person's response that my suggestions had treaded into a very personal space. And all the more that my intentions were highly prejudiced with me having a secret reformist agenda in my mind, coming from my prejudices and notions.
Now as I usually do.. I introspected. It took me 3-4 days and nights to find out that I did actually have this secret reformist agenda in mind or not??
Finally, as I geared up my clarified self again, I told to myself that YES, it was indeed somewhere hidden in my subconscious and that rather unpleasant experience, in disguise, helped to un-earth the motive and thereby cleansed my actions for now and future.
The lesson I learned is : every reaction, response I get from life, says something about my own self. Its in my hands to blame it onto others and escape the situation thereby preserving the Ego. And its in my hands too, to rather expand my consciousness and understand my limitations, which by understanding, just melt away.
As Swami Sukhbodhananda says : The result you get from your actions is not what you on a gross level wished.. Rather what was being thought, or feared of on the subtlest level of your consciousness..
I felt thankful to the person who by giving this shock had awaken me up from a dream, when I never knew I had been sleeping...
2 comments:
absolutely wonderful post.
Such experiences, although momentarily unpleasant, are truly enriching.
totally agree with Divesh..an insightful read!
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