DOING, NON DOING ..

From childhood itself it is encouraged in us TO DO something.. It seems so harmless then. As we grow up and face things in the outer world, slowly this DOING something becomes an essential part of us. Infact, it becomes us. For one begins to wonder, what is one without DOING something. And this non-acceptance of non-doing brings a lot of disturbance in what we do and in our lives, that is in us itself.
I wonder how many of us are able to just "be" and not restless in the "being". And even if restless, then not escape from the restlessness by DOING something.
This clearly implies, how can a source -that is so restless and chaotic - DO something that is fruitful/pure in its very essence ? I wonder, if this is possible ?? Or should it be other way round..
In "being" if we are at peace with ourselves, then wouldn't the DOING itself be nothing but creation and joy ? As then the so called DOING will be without any motive to achieve or ambition..
And that is the real doing.. or the non-doing - without there being a DOER .. just the act itself..

..of unsolicited advices and help

It gives me goosebumps and scares me to a very anxious place when I think of the damage we adults can do to infants, children/youngsters by giving them unsolicited advice and helping them around even when they might do the task or go around the day by themselves. Its not uncommon for us (as adults) to hate when given unwanted advice and help. To me personally many a times it comes as if the helper or advisor implies - "I do not trust you nor do I trust your so called instincts.. and I wonder if there are any?"
More and more I have tried and gone deeper into this, the more I have come to understand that Creativity is bullshitted when your freedom is compromised and trust beheld.
I have found myself more creative and enthusiastic when not surrounded by people giving advises and suggestions. It seems that there is more flavor in the food and more adventure in life, when unwanted help and advice is not around.
In my case, I have found myself working through my own trials and errors in all permutations and combinations when free. Creativity is a by- product of working or figuring out freely for your self. If we shall learn to leave children or even adults by themselves, helping when asked for, we can maximize the growth of that person. And if I may - call it real Love.. Which helps us grow.

It seems to me that the URGE to help comes from a piece of information that we have in our subconscious (and may be conscious as well) minds that cries out -" please don't make any mistakes, please don't have any failures.. they are bad."
This just shows the kinds of shallow and risk-free, therefore unadventurous lives we live. No wonder we have to tune into other adventurous entertainment in order to feel that we are alive. Because we ourselves are so predictable, safe and boring.
And children who are so full of life and adventure just get trapped with us, unassuming adults. and slowly we make them like us only - scared, afraid, insecure and always in need of acceptance and love. We dare not let them learn from their own mistakes which we as kids always wanted to do.

On the other hand, living a life which is simple for all of us isn't that difficult. We just have to let the other be, and let ourselves be.
:-) couldn't be simpler.

of masks and make up

Anger, Sex - We have never ever taken out time and willingness to understand these two highly tabooed things. We have never tried to find out why are they tabooed in the very first place. What politics is going on undercover by the authorities and a virtually existent thing called society ? We are given instructions about them - not to be angry, be careful of physical intimacy, but we were never demonstrated how to use intelligence to inquire and understand the very nature of these and other emotions like hatred, jealousy, pride, sorrow, suffering, love. These are very truly considered to be "HUMAN NATURE" .. Ha ha.. Nature..
What do we understand or know about Nature. We include all the green and watery  and animalistic things on this planet under this umbrella of Nature. But we exclude Human beings as else we will be just another part of nature. At present the widespread world view is that humans utilize/ exploit this planet and nature. Which totally implies that we are separate from nature. So, then what do we know of human nature?? 
How can we know of something which has been, since eons, masked from the very beginning ? And that is why then the study of the sub-conscious becomes necessary.  " pehle chhupao, fir khojo".
The basic problem with us is that we don't let things be, and firstly we don't let ourselves be. And once this process of masking and make up starts, its like a rumor which spreads like addiction. And then only we suffer, when we have moved away from our basic state of being and have been lost in becoming thus imposing layers and layers of make up on us. Through understanding and not escaping, life can be lived im-mediately, directly, in aliveness. But why would mind accept a thing that is so simple. maja nahi aayega naa, there will be no stories..

Its so simple to live, to really Live. But mind likes to sophisticate things, complicate things and then create stories and then try to solve the problems in a confused state of mind. Haha... It just cannot accept the simplicity of nature.

Very recently - a statement came out of the mouth of a physically close ,so called relative of mine - "agar aap ke jaise do chaar aur aadmi ho jaayen India mein, to zindagi ka saara rang/romance hi khatam ho jaye" (on my not purchasing clothes etc. often).
I say - " dil ko behlaane ke liye Ghalib ye khayal achcha hai"

जब मैं था तब हरि नाही, अब हरि है तो मैं नाही ..

जिस तरह एक जख्म के होने से जिस्म पर,
एहसास होता है केवल दर्द का,
उसी तरह "मेरे" होने से कहाँ हो पाती है महसूस,
तेरी खूबसूरती और तेरा जलवा?
किसी तरह "मेरे" होने को आराम मिले,
तो कुछ तेरी ठंडी छाँव में ज़िन्दगी को गले से लगाया जाए..

Insights -Ashtavakra geeta chapter 2

Pain is indeed important. Turbulent situations are very important. Feeling bad about one self (mind made self feeling bad about itself) is very important.

Saakshi bhaav -
From childhood we have been conditioned to pick and choose. Now the reality dawns upon us that that very picking and choosing has taken us away from our only Self. Picking and choosing is suffering. suffering is in the mind. and unless a choicelessness arises, we will always be identified with the mind.
Practising witnessing (not choosing) is therefore something against our tendencies. It is the de-conditioning that needs to be done in order to re-connect to our own Self. What an irony ! We are connected with everything but Self. Though its all the game of Self itself.
Thats why its said we are nothing but pure love - because unless identification with picking and choosing (not-witnessing) stops, we cannot be our true Self, And once we are not picking and choosing (Witnessing) there is nothing but pure joy and Aho-bhaav in store.
Getting stabilized in our own Self requires alertness, awareness every moment. Not to get identified with the mind and its dirty tricks even for a moment.  Now that's some challenge !!
And then when the witness takes its steering wheel, things are just happening, there is a subtle realisation, the body becomes lighter as if not there. I AM that that is untained, untouched, unwavered, unattached, untouched by greed and jealousy amongst all this.

sukh aur dukh: insights from Sarvasar Upnisad and Japuji Sahib

Sukh bhi wohi deta hai, dukh bhi wohi deta hai. Jab MAIN hai, to sab sukh aur dukh hai, jab MAIN hi nahi, to Dukh kya Sukh kya, kyonki, ye dono wahin hotey hain, jahan MAIN hota hai. Kyonki, mujhe lagta hai aisa hona chahiye- jab aisa ho jaye, to sukh, nahi to dukh. 
Agar sab parmatma hi ka khel hai, (nirankar, onkar) tab sab ek samaan. Jeet bhi uski , maat bhi uski. aasha bhi uski, niraasha bhi uski.

Is Pain important?

Pain is important.
Till the time it hurts when someone says something, ego is still
alive. Its ego that has the capacity to get hurt. Because getting hurt
must have happened because of - i am something else, and this person
says i am not that (how dare he?). So my belief is hurt. Having
beliefs is a 'quality' and 'quality' is that of an object. It means
whatever happened was in the realms of ego only, the object. The
moment apperception happens- perception without a quality, only that
is me. and the moment i say - 'that', its again not me.
So its good to be with difficult (appears to me like -different cult)
people ("difficult" people means people who do not fit into your mind
made beliefs, which is nothing but Ego) because only there can your
ego not survive. Ego will get hurt again and again, and you will get
sick of it. ab aur nahi.
If you remain with lovely conforming people all the time, then ego is
always there, lurking. Whenever a difficult situation happens, it
comes to the limelight. The demons and the devils of me, and demons
and devils again can only be of the ego (my mind made self)..
For the objects to manifest, IT has to be no-thing.. only when IT is
no-thing, can there be things. As they need space to be. On the same
hand, precisely because IT is there, the objects ARE. proof (who needs
a proof?)

The crap there and here ..

There is crap outside,
there is crap inside,
the inside crap creates nothing but the outside crap..
Until I understand and clear up the inside crap,
the outside crap is never going to vanish..
it will remain, in myriad forms, in disguises.. it will lurk behind the most trivial walls,
the moment I accumulate some crap again, it will attack and prevail again..

I vow there by, to WATCH and be awake every moment,
not let the guilt come in, or her cousin, Pride..
never will I collect any crap, or any diamond (a disguise),
and then only,
all the crap will cease to exist..

as, In this moment..

Learning from every experience

I have been interacting with a person far more experienced in age and life. Owing to the person I am, I have this tendency to become very familiar from the first instant itself. And this could lead to treading into forbidden places, I had never known this before.
So, as I was working and interacting with this being, I had a few suggestions or comments in my mind that I very plainly and informally presented. The response was shocking and I have to say it shook the base of the life I am living. I came to realize through the person's response that my suggestions had treaded into a very personal space. And all the more that my intentions were highly prejudiced with me having a secret reformist agenda in my mind, coming from my prejudices and notions.

Now as I usually do.. I introspected. It took me 3-4 days and nights to find out that I did actually have this secret reformist agenda in mind or not??
Finally, as I geared up my clarified self again, I told to myself that YES, it was indeed somewhere hidden in my subconscious and that rather unpleasant experience, in disguise, helped to un-earth the motive and thereby cleansed my actions for now and future.
The lesson I learned is : every reaction, response I get from life, says something about my own self. Its in my hands to blame it onto others and escape the situation thereby preserving the Ego. And its in my hands too, to rather expand my consciousness and understand my limitations, which by understanding, just melt away.

As Swami Sukhbodhananda says : The result you get from your actions is not what you on a gross level wished.. Rather what was being thought, or feared of on the subtlest level of your consciousness..
I felt thankful to the person who by giving this shock had awaken me up from  a dream, when I never knew I had been sleeping...

Let the children be ..

Being interested in children and holistic ways of nurturing and educating kids invites me to explore very many authors, for self -education purposes.

Lately, have been reading a very gripping book by Gopika Kapoor on Spiritual Parenting. In the process of reading and understanding I have realized how parents can scar their children for life, and be oblivious to it. This book is a MUST for to-be parents in this and coming generations. I would like to share a modified excerpt of a beautiful chapter - LET THEM BE.

"What are you doing? yelled Sonya at her 3 year old daughter Ria. Ria looked up startled, her crayon frozen in her hand.

Can't you see you have to color within the lines? Silly girl! I 'll do it for you."

Ria watched her as her mother carefully filled in the outline of the picture with neat, deliberate strokes unlike the bold vibrant lines she had colored. 

Later at lunch Ria concentrated hard as she tried to bring a rice-laden spoon to her mouth without dropping any. But a few grains fell onto her frock and unfortunately for her, Sonya saw this. 

Can't you eat properly? You're always dropping things. Give it to me, I will feed you."

 Sonya filled the spoon and began shoving the rice into Ria's mouth. "There, now you won't get messy," she said. "I can't wait for her to start eating herself," she turned and said to her friend who had come over for lunch. 

But that was what I was trying to do, Mummy, thought Ria. Only you don't let me.

As parents all we do is wait. Waiting for the baby to pop out, to walk, to smile... and the waiting continues. And with waiting comes impatience. 

Children with their developing motor skills and growing minds, take their own time. And they should. Their brains are like sponge, absorbing everything they see and hear and are taught. 

And yet because we also want our children to be perfect we do things for them instead of letting them explore the world for themselves. 

Why can't we just let our children be children and enjoy their childhood? 

Childhood is one of those magical times with no responsibilities, no fears, no limitations, where creativity and imagination run riot and you can be anything you want to be. As adults we try so hard to relive this magical time. There are workshops being conducted to get in touch with your inner child, yet we are denying our children the feeling of being children. 

Let us learn to let our children - with all their spills, mistakes, and messes- BE.

kuch panktiyaan

अगरबत्ती के धुंए की तरह, कुछ यादें...

मेरे नज़दीक यूँ आयीं, और यूँ 

हवा में समा सी गयीं, के जैसे...

बस एक खुशबु सी है अभी भी यहाँ, जो एहसास दिला रही है, 

उनसे  मुखातिब होने का..

~~~

खुद से बडबडाते हुए, सालों से, 

एक चुप्पी सी सध गयी है सीने में,

अँधेरे सी तीखी, रौशनी सी तेज़, 

ना चुप रहने देती है, और ना लफ्ज़ आ पातें है कम्बखत जुबां पे,

उफ़ ये हाल-ए- तन्हाई...

~~~

चायपत्ती, इलाईची, और चीनी की मंद मंद खुशबु, 

और गुनगुनाती सर्दियों की ये धुंध भरी सुबह..

चलो कहीं तो कोई किसी अपने के लिए चाय बना रहा, लगता है..

I did not die..

Beautiful one..


Do not stand at my grave and weep;
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there, I did not die.

- Anonymous

For my favorite little one..

गोपाल दस नीरज ..

धर्म   है 

जिन मुश्किलों में मुस्कुराना हो मना,

उन मुश्किलों में मुस्कुराना धर्म है

जिस वक़्त गैर मुमकिन सा लगे,

उस वक़्त जीना फ़र्ज़ है इंसान का..

लाजिम लहर के साथ है तब खेलना,

जब हो समुन्दर पे नशा तूफ़ान का..

जिस वायु का दीपक बुझाना ध्येय हो,

उस वायु में दीपक जलाना धर्म है..

हो नहीं मंजिल कहीं जिस राह की,

उस राह चलना चाहिए इंसान को,

जिस दर्द से साड़ी उमर रोते कटे

वह दर्द पाना है ज़रूरी प्यार को..

जिस चाह का हस्ती मिटाना नाम है,

उस चाह पर हस्ती मिटाना धर्म है..

आदत पड़ी हो भूल जाने की जिसे,

हरदम उसी का नाम हो हर सांस पर

उस की खबर में ही सफ़र सारा कटे

जो हर नज़र से हर कदम हो बेखबर,

जिस आँख का आँखें चुराना काम हो,

उस आँख से आँखें मिलाना धर्म है..

जब हाथ से टूटे ना अपनी हथकड़ी 

तब मांग लो ताकत स्वयं ज़ंजीर से,

जिस दम ना थमती हो नयन सावन झड़ी,

उस दम हंसी ले लो किसी तस्वीर से,

जब गीत गाना गुनगुनाना जुर्म हो,

तब गीत गाना गुनगुनाना धर्म है..

हाँ फिर..

फिर से हर सहर का वो सूनापन 

फिर से उसे भुलाने की वो नाकाम कोशिशें 

पर कुछ तो नया है, 

हाँ .. कुछ तो नया है..

अब मैं अकेली नहीं, 

तू है, 

और अब तेरे ही सहारे मेरी हिम्मत

हर पल अपने को एक नयी उम्मीद से बाँध दिया करती है,

यूँ ही ज़िन्दगी से,

कभी ऐसे, तो कभी वैसे, नए सपने निचोड़ लिया करती है...

The real Rebel

We often talk about being a rebel..
I was lucky to witness a live rebel in front of me yesterday.
It was a toddler, around 1.5 or 2 yr of age traveling in the Delhi Metro with his mother and enjoying the panoramic views outside through the window. As restless as he was, there were so many facets he displayed in front of all of us in oblivion. Mom kind of pretended to be angry at him for asking so many questions and being so hyperactive. As she expressed her pretended anger through her bulging eyes, to our total surprise the kiddo smiled innocuously and showered his kisses and hugs over her, melting her so called anger all at once, and letting her an entry in to the NOW again.

A few excerpts,
Mom - Ganda bachcha hai ?
kiddo -"Mummy main ganda nahi hun, main achcha bachcha hun, aur aap bhi aachche ho.

Mom- Police ko bulaungi, token de de
Kiddo - hmm.. police ko? Bulao.. Laao mujhe phone do, main bulata hun!!

Mom- Pitai karun teri? Bhoot hai aagey, bhoot aa jayega yahan..
Kiddo- Mummy, pitayi kar do. Bhoot ki, meri nahi!!

ek do yun hi...

क्या खोखली बातों में जिए जाते हो मित्र, 

ज़रा तुम भी कर लो थोड़ा ज़िन्दगी का इत्र,

तो जानो के खामोशियाँ भी कहानियां सुनाये जाती हैं. 

````````````````

क्या उधार की ये ज़िन्दगी जिए जाते हो, 

क्या गैर की तस्सली में खुद को यूँ ही मनाये जाते हो,

कभी खुद ही आग के शोले बनो तो दहको तुम, 

कभी किसी प्यास में ही बेखुदी तक पहुँचो तुम, 

तो ये इल्म हो ज़रा सा ...

के ये ज़िन्दगी किस मासूमियत के वासते जी जाती है.

The regular cleansing in life ..

As I was going on with the regular jogging schema of mine around noon time in the park right at the back of our apartments there happened some insights that I share here..
A gentleman aged around 50-60 yr was brooming the fallen leaves and other stuff off the walking track. What stuck me was the patience with which he was doing his work and the gentle and timeless perseverance that was so visible. Now, those leaves will fall again, and some other stuff would be again scattered there on the tracks, still he would come again and again and do his work of cleansing with the same presence in the moment and the same concentration.
This is what I call the regular and unending process of life. We just have to do our work of cleaning the dust from the life again and again. Don't worry yourself if they keep on reappearing. your job is "to clean them up". And life is nothing but a constant process of learning and unlearning....

Prayer of St. Francis of Assisi

If I find myself going down and down and stuck in a vicious circle.. Here is something that when taken in with ultimate absorption, brings you back to compassion, gratitude and to life itself.

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.

Where there is hatred, let me sow love.

Where there is injury, pardon.

Where there is doubt, faith.

Where there is despair, hope.

Where there is darkness, light.

Where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master,

grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console;

to be understood, as to understand;

to be loved, as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive.

It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,

and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.

Get up Stand up..

I have seen the warmth in the chilling cold my friend,
Yes I have seen the warmth that is possible oh my friend..

Its not that easy and yet not that difficult too,
the one thing that I know you ought to do..
is to get up, stand up, wear your gear and just do it..
and yes, there's no any other way to it..

Just get up in the chilling weather, give your thoughts a little break..
Open the door, and get to the woods, before the baker bakes that cake.
Just open the door, step outside, warm up your frozen body,
Oh yes, you could as well admire that lady..
Do the running, do the jogging, or else do a bit of brisk walking..
and feel the warmth the Sun showers upon us, from behind the gray clouds..
and feel the radiance your soul showers upon you,
feel the bliss, feel the feet on the ground, and be thankful..

So, you know its not chilly and there's no pain..
it's just the laziness that keeps us from the gain.

Importance of Stopping ..

Now, those of you who are thinking its the stopping on the traffic lights.. or stopping to give some one a way.. or its the stopping to help some one cross the road.. Yes in essence it is, as all Stopping is indeed connected..
Now, Why the hell Stopping is so important..

I would invite you all to look back at your life. And I am sure many of you do that from time to time..Now, can you remember the problems you solved, the projects you completed well, the things you really really enjoyed?
What was happening when you were into all these things..
Well.. I gave you a hint right here in the question above. "when you were INTO all these things".
Cant you see that whenever we have done something to our satisfaction, we always have Stopped at that thing/problem/situation and then we have been with that thing for a good time.. We have given our company of understanding to that situation and out of that understanding the essence manifested in front of us and graced us with its beauty.

So, when we do anything well.. if you look back in retrospect..
All the things that we have done well.. are because we stopped at them.. became them.. dissolved the duality..

So, Here it is... We have a ready made solution for every problem or situation we encounter.
Now a problem is a problem only until the time its not understood well. No matter we keep on saying things like "I tried all the things I could" "you dont know how hard I have struggled" "its bad luck for me" or "They dont understand me at all, and they wont". If we REALLY sit with the problem, I mean HONESTLY be with it, so that the problem dissolves in us.. then the reality dawns upon us and we get the answers like "I actually have NOT tried all the things, as I dont even know how many things are possible"
"I actually have NOT struggled at all, its the complaining I like the most about the situation"
"I am creating the bad luck by my actions"
"I dont understand them and I actually cannot be sure that they do not understand.. may be they are doing what feels the best according to their understanding"

So, a problem is in need of understanding. I can guarantee you that you can solve it yourself .. just sit with it in love and acceptance and let us go with the flow that Stopping reveals to us..