Thursday, July 19, 2012

..of unsolicited advices and help

It gives me goosebumps and scares me to a very anxious place when I think of the damage we adults can do to infants, children/youngsters by giving them unsolicited advice and helping them around even when they might do the task or go around the day by themselves. Its not uncommon for us (as adults) to hate when given unwanted advice and help. To me personally many a times it comes as if the helper or advisor implies - "I do not trust you nor do I trust your so called instincts.. and I wonder if there are any?"
More and more I have tried and gone deeper into this, the more I have come to understand that Creativity is bullshitted when your freedom is compromised and trust beheld.
I have found myself more creative and enthusiastic when not surrounded by people giving advises and suggestions. It seems that there is more flavor in the food and more adventure in life, when unwanted help and advice is not around.
In my case, I have found myself working through my own trials and errors in all permutations and combinations when free. Creativity is a by- product of working or figuring out freely for your self. If we shall learn to leave children or even adults by themselves, helping when asked for, we can maximize the growth of that person. And if I may - call it real Love.. Which helps us grow.

It seems to me that the URGE to help comes from a piece of information that we have in our subconscious (and may be conscious as well) minds that cries out -" please don't make any mistakes, please don't have any failures.. they are bad."
This just shows the kinds of shallow and risk-free, therefore unadventurous lives we live. No wonder we have to tune into other adventurous entertainment in order to feel that we are alive. Because we ourselves are so predictable, safe and boring.
And children who are so full of life and adventure just get trapped with us, unassuming adults. and slowly we make them like us only - scared, afraid, insecure and always in need of acceptance and love. We dare not let them learn from their own mistakes which we as kids always wanted to do.

On the other hand, living a life which is simple for all of us isn't that difficult. We just have to let the other be, and let ourselves be.
:-) couldn't be simpler.

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