Let the children be ..

Being interested in children and holistic ways of nurturing and educating kids invites me to explore very many authors, for self -education purposes.

Lately, have been reading a very gripping book by Gopika Kapoor on Spiritual Parenting. In the process of reading and understanding I have realized how parents can scar their children for life, and be oblivious to it. This book is a MUST for to-be parents in this and coming generations. I would like to share a modified excerpt of a beautiful chapter - LET THEM BE.

"What are you doing? yelled Sonya at her 3 year old daughter Ria. Ria looked up startled, her crayon frozen in her hand.

Can't you see you have to color within the lines? Silly girl! I 'll do it for you."

Ria watched her as her mother carefully filled in the outline of the picture with neat, deliberate strokes unlike the bold vibrant lines she had colored. 

Later at lunch Ria concentrated hard as she tried to bring a rice-laden spoon to her mouth without dropping any. But a few grains fell onto her frock and unfortunately for her, Sonya saw this. 

Can't you eat properly? You're always dropping things. Give it to me, I will feed you."

 Sonya filled the spoon and began shoving the rice into Ria's mouth. "There, now you won't get messy," she said. "I can't wait for her to start eating herself," she turned and said to her friend who had come over for lunch. 

But that was what I was trying to do, Mummy, thought Ria. Only you don't let me.

As parents all we do is wait. Waiting for the baby to pop out, to walk, to smile... and the waiting continues. And with waiting comes impatience. 

Children with their developing motor skills and growing minds, take their own time. And they should. Their brains are like sponge, absorbing everything they see and hear and are taught. 

And yet because we also want our children to be perfect we do things for them instead of letting them explore the world for themselves. 

Why can't we just let our children be children and enjoy their childhood? 

Childhood is one of those magical times with no responsibilities, no fears, no limitations, where creativity and imagination run riot and you can be anything you want to be. As adults we try so hard to relive this magical time. There are workshops being conducted to get in touch with your inner child, yet we are denying our children the feeling of being children. 

Let us learn to let our children - with all their spills, mistakes, and messes- BE.

kuch panktiyaan

अगरबत्ती के धुंए की तरह, कुछ यादें...

मेरे नज़दीक यूँ आयीं, और यूँ 

हवा में समा सी गयीं, के जैसे...

बस एक खुशबु सी है अभी भी यहाँ, जो एहसास दिला रही है, 

उनसे  मुखातिब होने का..

~~~

खुद से बडबडाते हुए, सालों से, 

एक चुप्पी सी सध गयी है सीने में,

अँधेरे सी तीखी, रौशनी सी तेज़, 

ना चुप रहने देती है, और ना लफ्ज़ आ पातें है कम्बखत जुबां पे,

उफ़ ये हाल-ए- तन्हाई...

~~~

चायपत्ती, इलाईची, और चीनी की मंद मंद खुशबु, 

और गुनगुनाती सर्दियों की ये धुंध भरी सुबह..

चलो कहीं तो कोई किसी अपने के लिए चाय बना रहा, लगता है..

I did not die..

Beautiful one..


Do not stand at my grave and weep;
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there, I did not die.

- Anonymous

For my favorite little one..

गोपाल दस नीरज ..

धर्म   है 

जिन मुश्किलों में मुस्कुराना हो मना,

उन मुश्किलों में मुस्कुराना धर्म है

जिस वक़्त गैर मुमकिन सा लगे,

उस वक़्त जीना फ़र्ज़ है इंसान का..

लाजिम लहर के साथ है तब खेलना,

जब हो समुन्दर पे नशा तूफ़ान का..

जिस वायु का दीपक बुझाना ध्येय हो,

उस वायु में दीपक जलाना धर्म है..

हो नहीं मंजिल कहीं जिस राह की,

उस राह चलना चाहिए इंसान को,

जिस दर्द से साड़ी उमर रोते कटे

वह दर्द पाना है ज़रूरी प्यार को..

जिस चाह का हस्ती मिटाना नाम है,

उस चाह पर हस्ती मिटाना धर्म है..

आदत पड़ी हो भूल जाने की जिसे,

हरदम उसी का नाम हो हर सांस पर

उस की खबर में ही सफ़र सारा कटे

जो हर नज़र से हर कदम हो बेखबर,

जिस आँख का आँखें चुराना काम हो,

उस आँख से आँखें मिलाना धर्म है..

जब हाथ से टूटे ना अपनी हथकड़ी 

तब मांग लो ताकत स्वयं ज़ंजीर से,

जिस दम ना थमती हो नयन सावन झड़ी,

उस दम हंसी ले लो किसी तस्वीर से,

जब गीत गाना गुनगुनाना जुर्म हो,

तब गीत गाना गुनगुनाना धर्म है..

हाँ फिर..

फिर से हर सहर का वो सूनापन 

फिर से उसे भुलाने की वो नाकाम कोशिशें 

पर कुछ तो नया है, 

हाँ .. कुछ तो नया है..

अब मैं अकेली नहीं, 

तू है, 

और अब तेरे ही सहारे मेरी हिम्मत

हर पल अपने को एक नयी उम्मीद से बाँध दिया करती है,

यूँ ही ज़िन्दगी से,

कभी ऐसे, तो कभी वैसे, नए सपने निचोड़ लिया करती है...

The real Rebel

We often talk about being a rebel..
I was lucky to witness a live rebel in front of me yesterday.
It was a toddler, around 1.5 or 2 yr of age traveling in the Delhi Metro with his mother and enjoying the panoramic views outside through the window. As restless as he was, there were so many facets he displayed in front of all of us in oblivion. Mom kind of pretended to be angry at him for asking so many questions and being so hyperactive. As she expressed her pretended anger through her bulging eyes, to our total surprise the kiddo smiled innocuously and showered his kisses and hugs over her, melting her so called anger all at once, and letting her an entry in to the NOW again.

A few excerpts,
Mom - Ganda bachcha hai ?
kiddo -"Mummy main ganda nahi hun, main achcha bachcha hun, aur aap bhi aachche ho.

Mom- Police ko bulaungi, token de de
Kiddo - hmm.. police ko? Bulao.. Laao mujhe phone do, main bulata hun!!

Mom- Pitai karun teri? Bhoot hai aagey, bhoot aa jayega yahan..
Kiddo- Mummy, pitayi kar do. Bhoot ki, meri nahi!!

ek do yun hi...

क्या खोखली बातों में जिए जाते हो मित्र, 

ज़रा तुम भी कर लो थोड़ा ज़िन्दगी का इत्र,

तो जानो के खामोशियाँ भी कहानियां सुनाये जाती हैं. 

````````````````

क्या उधार की ये ज़िन्दगी जिए जाते हो, 

क्या गैर की तस्सली में खुद को यूँ ही मनाये जाते हो,

कभी खुद ही आग के शोले बनो तो दहको तुम, 

कभी किसी प्यास में ही बेखुदी तक पहुँचो तुम, 

तो ये इल्म हो ज़रा सा ...

के ये ज़िन्दगी किस मासूमियत के वासते जी जाती है.

The regular cleansing in life ..

As I was going on with the regular jogging schema of mine around noon time in the park right at the back of our apartments there happened some insights that I share here..
A gentleman aged around 50-60 yr was brooming the fallen leaves and other stuff off the walking track. What stuck me was the patience with which he was doing his work and the gentle and timeless perseverance that was so visible. Now, those leaves will fall again, and some other stuff would be again scattered there on the tracks, still he would come again and again and do his work of cleansing with the same presence in the moment and the same concentration.
This is what I call the regular and unending process of life. We just have to do our work of cleaning the dust from the life again and again. Don't worry yourself if they keep on reappearing. your job is "to clean them up". And life is nothing but a constant process of learning and unlearning....

Prayer of St. Francis of Assisi

If I find myself going down and down and stuck in a vicious circle.. Here is something that when taken in with ultimate absorption, brings you back to compassion, gratitude and to life itself.

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.

Where there is hatred, let me sow love.

Where there is injury, pardon.

Where there is doubt, faith.

Where there is despair, hope.

Where there is darkness, light.

Where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master,

grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console;

to be understood, as to understand;

to be loved, as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive.

It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,

and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.

Get up Stand up..

I have seen the warmth in the chilling cold my friend,
Yes I have seen the warmth that is possible oh my friend..

Its not that easy and yet not that difficult too,
the one thing that I know you ought to do..
is to get up, stand up, wear your gear and just do it..
and yes, there's no any other way to it..

Just get up in the chilling weather, give your thoughts a little break..
Open the door, and get to the woods, before the baker bakes that cake.
Just open the door, step outside, warm up your frozen body,
Oh yes, you could as well admire that lady..
Do the running, do the jogging, or else do a bit of brisk walking..
and feel the warmth the Sun showers upon us, from behind the gray clouds..
and feel the radiance your soul showers upon you,
feel the bliss, feel the feet on the ground, and be thankful..

So, you know its not chilly and there's no pain..
it's just the laziness that keeps us from the gain.

Importance of Stopping ..

Now, those of you who are thinking its the stopping on the traffic lights.. or stopping to give some one a way.. or its the stopping to help some one cross the road.. Yes in essence it is, as all Stopping is indeed connected..
Now, Why the hell Stopping is so important..

I would invite you all to look back at your life. And I am sure many of you do that from time to time..Now, can you remember the problems you solved, the projects you completed well, the things you really really enjoyed?
What was happening when you were into all these things..
Well.. I gave you a hint right here in the question above. "when you were INTO all these things".
Cant you see that whenever we have done something to our satisfaction, we always have Stopped at that thing/problem/situation and then we have been with that thing for a good time.. We have given our company of understanding to that situation and out of that understanding the essence manifested in front of us and graced us with its beauty.

So, when we do anything well.. if you look back in retrospect..
All the things that we have done well.. are because we stopped at them.. became them.. dissolved the duality..

So, Here it is... We have a ready made solution for every problem or situation we encounter.
Now a problem is a problem only until the time its not understood well. No matter we keep on saying things like "I tried all the things I could" "you dont know how hard I have struggled" "its bad luck for me" or "They dont understand me at all, and they wont". If we REALLY sit with the problem, I mean HONESTLY be with it, so that the problem dissolves in us.. then the reality dawns upon us and we get the answers like "I actually have NOT tried all the things, as I dont even know how many things are possible"
"I actually have NOT struggled at all, its the complaining I like the most about the situation"
"I am creating the bad luck by my actions"
"I dont understand them and I actually cannot be sure that they do not understand.. may be they are doing what feels the best according to their understanding"

So, a problem is in need of understanding. I can guarantee you that you can solve it yourself .. just sit with it in love and acceptance and let us go with the flow that Stopping reveals to us..

ढूंढते हुए, यूँ ही

कुछ शोर यहाँ, कुछ शोर वहां, 

कुछ भीनी भीनी खुशबूएं भी हैं, 

थोडा सन्नाटा, और थोड़ी अटखेलियाँ भी..

हर तरफ यूँ ही बिखरी पड़ी रहती हैं. 

यूँ ही एक पल, 

हमने चुना शोर को, 

तो यहाँ वहां, सब चला गया 

ना पता चला यहाँ का, और वहां भी लापता हुआ, 

शोर शोर शोर, शोर शोर, एक ही हुआ, एक ही तो था ..

फिर नज़र मिली .. छुपे हुए, 

छुपे हुए, सन्नाटे से, 

थोडा उदास हुआ सा लगता था.. 

कहता था हमें यूँ ही..

"की आजकल हम से खफा हो क्या भला? क्यों मिलती नहीं, बतयाती नहीं..?"

मैं हंस पड़ी.. बस यूँ ही.. मैं हंस पड़ी ..

बस सन्नाटा जाने ही को था फिर से छुप के..

पर थमी में एक पलको फिर अभी.. और कही.. 

"क्यों अटखेलियाँ तुम हंसे किये जाते हो? तुम हो गवाह..

तुम में ही बनी हूँ, और तुम ही में जिए जाती हूँ..

तुम में ही कुछ अक्ष हूँ में लिख रही, तुम में ही कुछ गीत कभी गुनगुना लेती हूँ..

और या मौला, क्या ये तुम्ही हो ?

जो ये अलफ़ाज़ मुझे सुनाए जाते हो, और मैं हूँ के, कही जाती हूँ.. बस तुमसे ही कही जाती हूँ..

कुछ शोर यहाँ, कुछ शोर वहां, 

कुछ भीनी भीनी खुशबूएं भी हैं, 

थोडा सन्नाटा, और थोड़ी अटखेलियाँ भी..

हर तरफ यूँ ही बिखरी पड़ी रहती हैं.